Valet Reader

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Yep, it’s true, I read it. Come on, how could I resist? After all, for the past several months I’ve seen a kajillion women reading this on the bus. I realize that no male valet would be caught dead reading it but I decided to give it a shot in hopes of it giving me some insight into the female psyche and possibly a date or two. Let’s just say I was too cowardly to actually let anyone know I was reading this book, needless to say there were no dates, woe is me.

First things first, why in the world would you point out every possible thing that you are not going to talk about in your book in the first 15 pages? And then… proceed to talk about said things for the next 200+ pages, I just don’t get it.

I typically love a good travel story. This is not one of those typical travel books. Of course I realize that it was never meant to be that but in a way it came across as a blend of a woman finding herself and an adventure. Unfortunately there was no adventure, there was this:

Italy – I’m glad you ate and put on some weight. Now, stop your whining.

India – I’m glad you were finally able to find some way to meditate. Now, stop your complaining.

Indonesia (Bali) – Finally you stopped your bellyaching and found love, balance and peace. Thankfully the story can end now.

Its easy to see why so many women flock to this book. Liz Gilbert is a troubled woman going through tough times who decides that she needs her independence and freedom to find herself (and Oprah loved it). The only thing is, she goes to the absolute extremes to do so. I’ve never been a fan of self help or help books in general but I don’t really understand what a woman can glean from reading this. I did come to understand though that women masturbate just like men do (already knew it, but thought I’d throw it in for good measure and to pretend like I learned something from reading this).

Alas, I have a confession to make; every time I picked up this book I was inhibited. I was either extremely tired, nauseous on the bus (to the point of vomiting) or inebriated. Yes, I felt the only way that I could continue reading this book at times was to drink and not in moderation. These things happen, what more can I say?

My recommendation is such, men please don’t bother. Women, sure go ahead and read it but please don’t get any crazy ideas.

Update: Extremely disturbing and frighteningly I’ve just discovered that they plan on turning this book into a movie starring Julia Roberts and Javier Bardem. What is this world coming to?