Goooooooooooood Morning San Francisco. You’ve been waiting all weekend for this post haven’t you? The time has finally arrived.

My car got towed last week. I know, “so what?” you’re saying. Well, it was my own fault, I recognize that. But naturally I have something to gripe about. What I want to know is, where does the $500+ it cost me to retrieve my car go? I’ll tell you what, it certainly doesn’t go to fixing potholes in the city streets, I highly doubt it goes to the ticketers who wear bicycle helmets while driving their silly little carts, nor the woman at the impound lot I handed all my money over to, nor the security guard who watched my car and retrieved it (during which he reversed my car to my feet at about oh 50 mph). Why the hell does it cost so damn much? Oh, that’s right the city paid for mayor Newsom’s wedding, duh! Gotta make that dough somehow. Thank goodness that alcoholic adulterer is not running for governor.

What else can I tell you about. So, it was the first full week of 2010, guess what, I read 3 books. I think I’m off to a pretty good start. What’s more surprising is that they were all pretty good. I’m hoping that’s a sign of whats to come this year. I’ve already been thrown a couple of curve balls 10 days into the year but that’s pretty normal. I’m quite accustomed to that. I’d also like to take a moment to tell those of you that are already complaining about 2010 to shut the f up. Seriously, the year just started, give it some time. Wow, I’m kind of all fiery right now aren’t I? Well, lucky for us here in the bay area we’ve got some good things to look forward to this week. So, if you’re 2010 started off poorly, may I recommend…

Wednesday, January 13th
@ 7pm

- Tera Patrick, Actress (of the adult sort) and Author, will be discussing, signing her book, Sinner Takes All, and possibly more (wink wink) at Borders in Union Sqaure. I don’t like Union Square, nor do I like Borders, but there are some things I will make exceptions for, and this very well could be one. I don’t even know who Ms. Patrick, star of such great films as “Teradise Island 2,” “Afrodiziac,” and some other titles which frankly are not appropriate to be named here, is. I have no idea what her book could possibly be about but I highly doubt people buy it to read the words. That’s just a guess.

Friday, January 15
@ 7PM
- Michael Thomas Ford, author, will be signing and discussing his book Jane Bites Back at Borders in Union Square. I’ll admit it, this book actually sounds pretty funny. Granted I know nothing about Jane Austen this book apparently finds her landing a new book deal after 200 years and 116 rejection letters. Apparently vampires are also involved which certainly elevates the book in my mind. I think I’ll be picking this one up one of these days so keep posted. But in the mean time, go hear what Mr. Ford has to say this Friday.

Saturday, January 16th
@ 9am – 5pm
- Hospice by the Bay is hosting a used book sale at the Book Passage in Corte Madera. For those of you that didn’t get all the books you wanted during the holidays this may be a good opportunity to pick up a few more. Naturally, I have no clue as to what sort of books are there but who know’s maybe you’ll find that diamond in the rough. That and looking at used books is pretty cool.

Saturday, January 16th
@ 2pm
- Larry Gonick, author/cartoonist, will be talking about his comic Cartoon History of the Modern World, Part II at Book Passage in Corte Madera. So, it’s basically exactly like it sounds, a look at modern history in the form of a comic. Oh and it’s supposed to be funny too. It kind of reminds me or makes me think of Mel Brook’s, History of the World: Part 1. You may be thinking that they may have something in common but to be honest they don’t Gonick has a “part 1″ of his own. Anyways, if you’re looking for an amusing way to teach your child about modern history and kind of tease them while you’re at it, go check out Gonick

Now get out there fair readers and go see and do something exciting this week.

Sometimes I wonder why I write about you LA. Seriously, why do it? Either you don’t care or you’re stuck in traffic for so much of the day that you don’t have time to even read this post. Come on, admit it, you’re not fooling anyone. Actually, I know why I do it. I do it in the event that I am unable to vent everything I like in my SF post. You see, when I don’t want to bog that post down I can spread the venting and give you some of too Los Angeles. I guess in that regard we both win.

Oh yeah and for those of you that actually come here to see what’s going on in Los Angeles, I have some bad news. This week, you’ve got zilch. And no, it’s not just because I’m feeling a little lazy, there really isn’t much to report this week. If you think I’ve missed something, feel free to let me know.

Happy New Years Los Angeles. I heard you all had a good time bringing in the new year. Although I doubt it was great as San Francisco, I’m sure it was pretty good.

I’ve got some mixed emotions regarding being in LA over new years. You see, I could have been there. I could have been flaunting my “hot shit” all over LA, indoctrinating myself among the stars, drinking my gin and juice or cavasier and harassing carrot top. Actually, I could have been there for the Rose Bowl. Both my brother and dad and went to the game but I opted to stay in San Fran so I could get belligerent with my friends. If I had been in LA I probably wouldn’t have done much drinking but I would have watched Ohio State crush Oregon which would have been pretty awesome. Oh and hanging out with my brother and dad wouldn’t have been so bad either.

Alright, I’m exhausted from talking about new years. I will say this, I am glad that we are now done with the holiday season. Time for everyone to get back to reality. And for those of you that feel that need to remind us of this on facebook or other means, give it up. Nearly all of us have to go back to work tomorrow, no one has any pity for you.

Now, what can I do for you LA. I know, usher the new year in with some exciting things happening in your fair city. Without further ado, lets get 201-0 underway.

Wednesday, January 6th
@ 7pm

- Tera Patrick, Actress (of the adult sort) and Author, will be discussing, signing her book, Sinner Takes All, and possibly more (wink wink) at Book Soup in LA. I’d be lying if I told you that I’m not tempted to fly down to Los Angeles for this event. How about that a porn actress can get me to LA before a football game and my father and brother can. That’s kind of disturbing and of course I’m only joking. I don’t even know who Ms. Patrick, star of such great films as “Teradise Island 2,” “Afrodiziac,” and some other titles which frankly are not appropriate to be named here, is. I have no idea what her book could possibly be about but I highly doubt people buy it to read the words. That’s just a guess.

Saturday, January 9th
@ 5pm
- Davida Wills Hurwin, Author, presents and signs her novel Freaks and Revelations at Book Soup. From what I understand this novel is actually based on a true story of two teenagers, one a violent misfit and the other a homosexual cast out by his family who have to struggle to survive on the streets. From what I gather these two have a violent initial meeting and somehow reconcile years later. This book I suppose is their story. Sounds pretty interesting even if it may be somewhat cliche.

Well, you may not have much going on but you do have something magical happenin’ at Book Soup on Wed. So get out there and get on it. I promise more excitement to come in the near future.

Well ladies and gents, let me be the first one, on this blog, to welcome you to the year 2010. Ironic, since I’m the only one who posts things here isn’t it. So… Happy New Year! May you and yours have a good 2010.

Being the first post of 2010 I thought I should have something special prepared for you, unfortunately I don’t. I do have a cute lil dog to show you though, here’s Charlie.

So, you want to know how I ushered in the New Year don’t you? Well, whether you do or don’t, I’m going to tell you how I did it, SF style. My introduction to the year 201-0 (please notice I am protesting the use of “20-10″) was far superior in pretty much every way to my entry intro to 200-9. I won’t get into specifics why last years was rather weak, that’s irrelevant (yes young lady, I’m talking about you). This year though was ushered in with an engagement party for my good friends Karl and Katie. You may recall them as being the two who initially suggested I start this whole blog thing. Their friend Laura hosted the party at her house which was awesome. Clubs, bars and places like Tahoe, Vegas and Enugu (Nigeria, duh!) are overrated, house parties are where it is at, I promise. Nothing beats a good old house party on New Years. The night involved a lot of whiskey, perhaps a bit too much and some beers, shotgunned and otherwise. There was a dance party, I think, and a pretty good spread of food, including some homemade chorizo thingamabobs and mini-corn dogs. I think I only fell down once after I left which may explain one or two of the bruises I now have (I guess it’s true, the older you get the more bruises you get). I’m pretty confident that I most definitely started talking books with several people although I’d be lying if I told you I remember what those discussions may have involved. I’d also like to take the time to tell you that I am not a lush. It’s pretty much a given that when I leave my apartment with a flask of black label in back my pocket I will not be sober when I return home. I’m pretty sure the entire party missed the actual countdown and we had an impromptu one at about 12:05. I think we were the last one’s on the continental United States to bring in the new year, I’m making that claim as though it’s as important as being the first baby born in the new year, I actually think it’s more important. Well, I’m pretty sure this story wasn’t quite as good as I thought it may have been when I started writing it. In that case… I’m going to tell you what kind of events are happening in SF this week.

Tuesday, January 10th
@ 730
- Jason Myers, author, will be signing and discussing his second book The Mission at Booksmith in the Haight. Before I tell you a little something about this book I’d like to point out that the Booksmith has redone their website and to be quite frank, I think it stinks compared to what they had before. I felt the need to tell you and perhaps them that. Anyways, Myers, a resident of SF, brings us a story of what SF is all about. Sex, drugs and all that are apparently a part of this story. Perhaps those of us who are already residents of SF won’t learn anything new. Both people who live in Des Moines, yeah, they may learn a little something about how we live.

Ahhhhh, seriously, I thought this year would start off better than the least year ended. Unfortunately I was severely mistaken. This is ridiculous. If we all have to return to work this week, shouldn’t authors have to do the same? Just teasing, I’m sure one of these days things will return to normal.