Valet Reader

Ack, what have I done? Oh, that’s right, just wasted my precious (depending on who you ask) time reading this. While “waste” and “reading” really should never be used in the same sentence (as I believe “reading” is never a “waste”) it’s hard for me not say such things when discussing Doyle’s latest piece (I can’t even call it a “work” or a “novel”). Right now, I feel the same sensation as I do when I step in a pile of dog sh*t on the street (yes, some people still don’t clean up after their dogs), basically I want to scream “god dammit, why?”

This book first came up on my radar while I was researching my events post and I saw that Doyle was going to be at one of my favorite local bookshops, The Booksmith. The premise sounded interesting enough and although I noted that I had not read his previous book I Love You, Beth Cooper I decided to give this one a shot. I think I’ve already mentioned that was a mistake.

Where to begin? The story was bad and was somewhat confusing. The writing was nothing spectacular and frankly, I thought the characters were dumb. The progression from beginning to end bored me and when I finished with the book, more than anything, I was relieved. All of those add up to a pretty crappy book in my mind. I guess what can be taken away from this though is that, what it appears Mr. Doyle was trying to accomplish, which was writing a b-movie style book, was indeed accomplished but it utterly failed.

In short, here’s the story: J!m, the title character, is a troubled, alien, adolescent whose father, who was from another planet, was accused of trying to destroy the world when he first appeared in a shiny spacecraft. As if his blue, oily skin isn’t enough of a problem for the troubled teen he is constantly struggling to find his place in the universe. His goals are simple, to graduate highschool and begin a career in making B-movies. Of course, disaster strikes when he goes through puberty over night and his whole life, and that of the alien/mutant race on Earth, is thrown into turmoil.

I despise sitting here and writing only to tell you the negative things about a book, but honestly I’m struggling to find anything positive to say. I want to say that there must be someone out there that this book could be for, but I’m struggling to find or think of who that person may be. While I’ve heard that this book is an allusion to Rebel Without A Cause I cannot personally say. Unfortunately I’ve never seen the movie. But, as far as I’m concerned that in no way should preclude me from enjoying it. Maybe, just maybe it’s a generational thing but that’s a stretch at best.