Hmmmm. Yeah. Ummmmm. Okay. Really?

I’m kind of ashamed. Ashamed because while reading this book I learned about something that I honestly feel like I should have already known. I mean, I guess its not really fair to be down on myself for being unaware but it’s somewhat prevalent. Alright, get to the point already. So, I’m talking about the Watchtower Society otherwise known as Jehovah’s Witnesses. I was actually kind of bothered reading about how and what this group of people believe in (I’m not too worried about losing readers over this review, knowing full well that reading my blog would most certainly be forbidden by the elders regardless). On the brighter side of things, I did learn that I quite like Tony DuShane’s writing style and seeing as he’s a local (San Francisco) writer I will be keeping my eye out for more of his work.

While reading the book I began to wonder whether or not Mr. DuShane was at some point himself a Jehova’s Witness and whether or not this story was in fact a look at his younger life. Well, after reading the book I found out that Mr. DuShane was a Witness while growing up but eventually became “inactive.” As for this being a book about him, I’m not quite sure. I do know this, should Armageddon ever come Dushane will not be saved (according the society of course, in my book, he stays).

Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk is funny, intelligent and as I already pointed out rather insightful. A lot of young adult books out there use masturbation and puberty as central ideas in the story which makes sense, the male protagonists are typically always of that age. I wouldn’t exactly say that DuShane uses it as a tool differently but he does make it a rather large point of moral conflict for the main character, Gabe.

For God’s sake, keep reading…

Every now and again you come across a book that tells a not so original story in a different sort of way. These are almost inevitably misses. This one, on the other hand, is a bit of a hit. Even though the story was somewhat predictable it was told in an original way that made it much more enjoyable.

It feels like every YA (young adult) book that I’ve read of late has something to do with mysticism, magic, fantasy, vampires and or some other type of other world being. What the hell is up with that? Whatever, I guess it doesn’t really matter. Beautiful Creatures is no different in this regard but somehow Garcia and Stohl manage to serve it up in a different way.

Oddly enough the other day I came across a woman at a coffee shop who said she writes YA. I’m not really sure what that means (she is not published) but I’m guessing she just uses teens as protagonist and uses the themes prevalent in most of this genre when writing. I bring up my chance meeting with this woman because our discussion shifted to why each of us thought YA books, of late, are so inundated with the paranormal. Her belief was much more divine and thought out than mine. Ok, now I may not be remembering her theory very well but I believe it was basically the idea that these themes are demonstrating a return to paganism in society. And by this return to paganism, society is willfully and knowledgeably attempting to breakdown the idea of the social status that we know today. Honestly, I don’t really know what she was talking about. I willfully admit I probably got her theory/ideas wrong considering I wasn’t taking notes during our conversation but I think those were the key thoughts. As for me, I ruled the emergence of the paranormal in YA books to capitalism, pure and simple. Whatever the reason may be, I don’t see it fading anytime soon. Anyways… back to the paranormal in this story.

Magic is real…

Steampunk. I really have/had no idea what it meant. So, what’s the natural next step, to wiki it of course. You may be scoffing at me for not knowing what this term means but honestly that’d be unfair. The only images of steampunk that I had had were of people dressed up in funky (yet cool) Victorian costumes adorned with metal. Frankly, funky costumes can mean anything. Anyways, for those of you like me that are somewhat clueless, steampunk is apparently a genre that fuses sci-fi, fantasy and the idea that the world is still powered by steam. Most of the steampunk “artifacts” have a very Victorian feel, yet also involve (as I said) a sci-fi/fantasy element.

Where does that leave us and how does it relate to Scott Westerfeld’s Leviathan? Well, apparently Leviathan is a steampunk young adult book. At least that’s the critics are saying. I’d have to agree, the book, for the most part has everything that description says and some. I didn’t even know I liked steampunk until I was finished with the book, that said, I liked the book.

(The below paragraph could possibly be a spoiler, I don’t think so, but reader beware and no blaming me. Just skip it if you’re worried.)

However, I’m going to start with something I did not like about the book. What is with that cliffhanger and what the hell are in those eggs?? Why oh why do I have to wait for the sequel to come out (advanced reader copy welcomed)? Unlike the cliffhangers in Uglies and Pretties (which Westerfeld also wrote) this one is ridiculous. I want to know now!!

Ok, onto the good. I’m going to start with most obvious and unconventional of the goods. This book has illustrations. Yes, you read that correctly, full on drawn pictures. No more do you have to rely on your imagination to picture what people or things may look like. Westerfeld has finally found a way to solve those problems! But seriously, they were actually really cool. I actually know what a “walker” or the “Leviathan” look like according to Westerfeld which is really cool. On to more things I liked, the story. The story was cool, new a steampunk’d (if that’s a word) vision of 1914 on the verge of World War I. Cool right? You need more evidence of good do ya? Well, there are two different stories in the book right, and for the longest time I had no idea how in the world Westerfeld was going to bring them together. Obviously he did and I was rather impressed, surprisingly enough I liked it.

Video and more this way, don’t stop now!

What I may not have noticed in the first book in this series Uglies may very well be the downfall of the whole series. You see, I have this problem with chapter naming. If you’re going to name a chapter rather than use a number, letter or symbol make it something unique, creative or interesting. Do not just throw a word out there that basically describes what the whole chapter is going to be about. It took me until I was about halfway through the book to really put it together, but if you actually pay attention to the chapter titles I think you can get away with not actually reading the chapter. Sure you need some background but honestly it wouldn’t be that hard. I actually wrote down all the chapter names and am going to try and use them in this review just for the hell of it (some will be obvious but let’s see how many of the less obvious ones you can catch).

Despite my problem with the chapter titles, I will not charge Mr. Westerfeld as a criminal (get, it, “criminal” is the first chapter) and ruining his own book. The novel itself was actually quite good, to incessantly bash it would be unfair. I wouldn’t want to be a lurker and not write about how I felt about the story, more specifically the rise and fall of the main character in the series, Tally.

Can I continue this charade? Find out…

I’m starting to think that getting a young adult book published is a pretty easy task. There seems to a pretty specific formula. Start with a youth (that’s pretty obvious), perhaps a teen, who is either ostracized for one reason or another or has a dysfunctional family. Give said teen a best friend. Maybe throw in a sibling, younger or older, doesn’t really matter. Introduce said teen’s love interest, past, present or future. Mix in a bit of a teacher, some homework and an extra curricular activity in there. Establish something for the youth to either complicate before resolving or rebel against. Wrap it all up and throw a bow around it.

Clearly what I’m driving at is the fact that Destroy All Cars is pretty formulaic. That doesn’t mean it’s bad but it also doesn’t mean it’s astonishingly good. Each of the above elements of the formula are evident in the story.

Fortunately there was one facet of this story which set it apart from the others. Although the main character James seemed like a bit of a misanthrope to me, he has a dogma which almost lets me give him the benefit of the doubt. You see, as the title of the book clearly states, James hates cars and wants to see them all destroyed. Why? Well, he recognizes the harm that they do to the environment and therefore wants to rid the planet of em. His main of way of expressing this thought is through his high school English papers wherein he repeatedly writes of his dislike for the car driving populace. It’s a pretty idealistic view for a teenager and a somewhat relevant one given our current circumstances, I mean, I think we all know what we’re doing to the planet. But honestly, the odds of me giving up my 4×4 aren’t very likely. At least I can say that I don’t really drive it very often. Whatever you do though, do not call James an “activist” cause that would put him in same category of do gooders as his ex-girlfriend.

See what I’ve just done? In a single paragraph I managed to give you nearly each of those elements I presented to you minus one or two. I only left the others out cause I really couldn’t find a good way to incorporate them into the paragraph, and it’s 9am and I don’t feel like trying.

I do want to take the time to thank James for justifying and making me feel better for my reluctance to go to an “organic” salad bar at lunch. Everyday that I don’t bring lunch to work I head to Focaccia on Sacramento to get a salad. Well, just the other day I was told that I should instead be going to Mixt Greens because their foods are organic. Well, to that I say, no thank you. I mean, I like organic but it’s not worth it for me to spend an extra $5 or $6 to get the same exact thing that tastes identical. Back to the point, James has no qualms presenting the fact that “organic salad bars are not going to refreeze the North Pole.” Therefore I deduce that going to Focaccia is just fine.

Lastly, although it really has nothing to do with the book at all I thought I had to throw this in here. James lets you and I know that Sadie Kinnel, his ex-girlfriend (the activist), is thought of as “the solution,” thanks to all her activism.  Well, while perusing the interweb the other day I came across someone else who has been deemed “the solution.”  Have a look for yourself, I would start at the 1:20 mark unless you want to watch and listen to these morons spew up extra garbage (sorry, there is an ad):

Yep, that pretty much says it all.

If the first line of your book is “The early summer sky was the color of cat vomit,” odds are you’ve got me hooked already. Believe it or not, that’s how Uglies starts. I had a fear that it would be oddly similar in some unusual way to Gone which I really didn’t enjoy very much. But, it wasn’t, hooray!

It’s pretty clear from the get go that this was going to be a book with a strong and in your face moral. A story that features “ugly” people vs. “pretty” people. Um, pretty blunt. More often than not a book that appears to have that strong of a point will certainly be a turn off for me. But, regardless of that I decided I would still give it a shot. I’m not exactly sure why to be honest, but that’s irrelevant.

All in all, I can fairly say that I enjoyed this book. It’s not as though I would put it high on my list, but after reading this, the first book in the series, I actually feel encouraged and intrigued enough to read the second novel, Pretties. Being a YA book the language wasn’t exactly complex and many of the literary elements I really enjoy in books were absent but the story was original and it was a quick read. Both things that are encouraging for me. Not only that but the fact that the protagonist is a female, similar to Suzanne Collins Hunger Games made the book a bit more unique.

Read on… my “pretty”

So, I kind of wished this book had “poofed” out of my hands while I read it. If you haven’t read the book you won’t really know what that means or what I’m talking about but for those of you that have had the pleasure of reading this, hmm, how do you say, rather lame book, you do.

In what is in essence a mashup of The X-Men, Peter Pan, Lord of the Flies and Johnny Quest (Quest may be a stretch but I’ve been waiting and waiting to reference that cartoon in one of my posts), Gonepretty much takes the worst elements of each and tries to put them all together. In short, one day all the adults over the age 14 disappear and then some really weird things happen in the ensuing power struggle for dominance.

This book actually had the potential of being pretty good. But, once you throw in talking coyotes, “the darkness” (not the band), machine guns, mutants, MacDonald’s, and the secret neglected brother syndrome you really have a junk pot of a story. Oh, and did I mention that the cover of the book has this odd resemblance to some other incredibly media friendly series of novels involving vampires? Cause I kind of think it does. I have this hunch that Mr. Grant actually wrote this book without the book in mind but with the potential of turning it into big money in the form of movies. After all, before he even started writing Gone he already knew it was going to be a three book series.

Go on, dont’ be scaaaaaared

Before I even knew of Frank Portman I had this book on my reading list. If you’ve been following my blog you’ll know that he has been instrumental (ha, play on words) in three of my posts to date. But like I said, wanting to read King Dork since before I started the blog, I had no idea who he was. So… why then was this book on my list? Well, it all goes back to growing up, when my brother or I would proclaim ourselves as “king” when signing off on e-mails or what have you. You know, sibling rivalry, to prove who was more badass. I always won of course but that’s besides the point. Anyways, I kind of thought this book would be fun to read and then I could call my brother “king dork” and actually have a reference.

Alas, I don’t think I can equate the two since I kind of think “king dork” is the man (sorry Josh, you know I’m just playing and don’t worry Lor, you’re day will come). I really enjoyed Frank’s first novel, and I think I actually liked more than I did Andromeda Klein, why, because its an easier story to relate to, for me anyways.

King Dork is an excellent portrayal of the way highschool was for so many of us. We all may not have been the Tom Henderson (aka King Dork) character or his buddy Sam Hellerman but there are plenty of characters in the story whom you can recognize from your days in school, if not yourself.  Tom and Sam’s aspirations are to start a band (for which, through the course of the novel, together they come up with and change the name of the band 25 times), avoid bullies and find a special lady while they are in school.  Frank Portman devises some of the most original means of accomplishing these goals such as having Tom carry around copies of Guns & Ammo Magazine to prevent would be bullies from picking on him. I’m pretty sure had I tried such a maneuver I would have been sent to Mr. Hulsey and had to do manual labor as punishment, but it would have been worth it (although I think I would have picked a more risque magazine, for those of you who were on the “Nagano” trip, you know what I’m talking about) .

Click this link!! (it’s worth it)